I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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