I'm eating all of the evidence.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
