Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
