she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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