Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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