you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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