yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
