I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
