Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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