I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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