I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
