Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Send help, water and tortillas.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
