The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize