he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
pop tarts are not kleenex
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
