I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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