There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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