what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
