I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
