New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
