before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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