I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
