I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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