You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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