Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
