mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
