I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I touched a dick in church today
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
