i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
