I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
