he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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