Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
