around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
