Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
