doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize