the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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