I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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