he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
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