I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize