In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
