we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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