Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
