The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
