Have you finally orgasmed yet?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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