The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She's the barista slut.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
