Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(562): View more from California

Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop

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(540): View more from Virginia

And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...

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(501): View more from Arkansas

recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

What time did you start drinking?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Maybe.

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Maybe isn't a time...

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(806): View more from Texas

It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?

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(812): View more from Indiana

Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"

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(731): View more from Tennessee

Bring vodka when you get back from court.

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