Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize