So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
