She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
