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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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