Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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