You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
