so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
