it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Houston, we have a squirter
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
This is classic penis vs brain.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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