maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
