Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
