You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
