people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
