i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I have post one night stand depression
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