how can u be prego again
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
