North Korea, Best Korea!
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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