Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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