we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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