ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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