I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
