Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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