the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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