Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
