Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
