She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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