Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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