do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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