we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize