I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
