you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i out mim tonsoeep
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