But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
