My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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