worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize