Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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