I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
