I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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