At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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